Making Brave Choices
We all have shit going on in our lives that scares us, even if we don’t necessarily think of it as fear. And that means we all have to make brave choices sometimes, even if we don’t necessarily think of it as bravery. But facing our shit – whether it’s the big, heavy stuff, or the […]
Sharing Our Tenderness and Navigating Vulnerability Hangovers
Sharing vulnerability is the foundation of meaningful relationships and wholehearted living. It’s also really fucking hard – by definition. To be vulnerable means to share our tenderness and open ourselves up to the possibility of getting hurt. But it’s super worth it, and it’s the only way to cultivate the kind of connection that most […]
Holding Out for Spiritual Partnership with Lisa Lewis-Cogswell
The path to genuine partnership can be rocky, full of potholes, and isn’t always well marked. It can be hard to hold onto hope and all too easy to pull over and settle for relationships that are okay enough. But! As we all know on this here podcast, settling is bullshit! And this episode offers […]
Take Yourself on a F*cking Date!
Come one, come all! This post applies to single folks and double folks alike! (Lol. I guess I mean married or partnered folks, but I’m often struck by the silliness of the “single” label). The premise I’m about to explore is that anyone – whether romantically attached to another human or not – can benefit from […]
Dating Is Supposed to Be FUN.
Hear ye, hear ye! The dreaded V-Day approacheth! And I come bearing reminders for self-care and self-advocacy! You DO have agency around your dating life! You DON’T have to fall into the morass of self pity and despair! There is hope – should you choose to reach for it!! Lol. But really, y’all. Dating isn’t […]
Taking “No” for an Answer
For a single-syllable, two-letter word, “no” can get pretty complicated for a lot of us. Sometimes it’s easy, straightforward, and no big deal. Sometimes it’s heartbreaking. Sometimes the prospect of hearing it is so terrifying that we don’t even ask for what we need. Regardless of whether we struggle with people-pleasing, both giving and receiving […]
Fighting the Hopelessness of Modern Dating
To all my single people out there, I feel you. Oh, lordy, do I feel you. Dating in the twenty-first century can feel entirely fucking impossible for so many reasons, and since hope isn’t a feeling (it’s something we have to create for ourselves), it’s pretty understandable that hopelessness creeps in when we’re trying to […]
Choosing People Who Choose You
Sometimes it’s easy to forget that being in a relationship with people is actually a choice we make on a daily basis. We are constantly choosing to show up, to engage with the people in our lives – whether those relationships are friendship or romantic partnership or even familial. (Reminder: we can opt out of […]
WTF Is Settling is Bullsh*t?
Hello, dear reader. Welcome to Settling Is Bullshit – a blog of sweary life advice for humans trying to get better at adulting. Read on to learn more about what we’re doing here.
What Do You Actually Need?
Identifying needs is probably one of the hardest things to do. It requires checking in with yourself in a deep and mindful way, which is a process that most of us never really had modeled. Instead, we get told – by society, by our family of origin, by our inner critic – that our needs are “too […]