Healing Trauma through Expressive Writing with Dr. Stacey Hettes
No matter how much we cognitively “know” about how trauma works, none of us are immune from the grip it can have on our capacity to deal with life. Thankfully, there are ways out, and writing is one of them. Dr. Stacey Hettes knows this firsthand. In spite of her PhD in neuroscience and decades […]
My Favorite Books of 2024
While I do love all the year in review recaps that start popping up in early December, I can’t help but feel that means the last 20 or so days of the year become a black hole lost to time. And maybe because my birthday is in late December, I’m especially sensitive to making sure […]
Befriending Your Nervous System Part 2 with Body Wisdom Coach Marjorie Schreurs
How do our bodies store trauma and what does that even mean? Why does getting triggered hijack our capacity to think straight? And what the heck can we do to heal from our past and nurture a well-regulated nervous system so we’re not freaking out all the time?! Well, listen in my love! In the […]
Befriending Your Nervous System Part 1 with Body Wisdom Coach Marjorie Schreurs
How well do you hear the signals your body is sending, my love? Most of us either don’t hear so well or too often choose not to listen… and the consequences can look like burnout, meltdowns, freak outs, and tantrums, or chronic fatigue, self-criticism, and general cranky-pants-ness. So! Got a body? This episode is for […]
How Trauma Disrupts Our Capacity for Joy with Dr. Stephanie Goldsmith, PhD
We all have trauma, y’all. It just might not be Trauma with a capital T. Instead, many/most of us are just wandering around on this journey of life getting hijacked by our little-t trauma responses without even knowing it! That’s why I brought in a globally-renowned trauma expert to talk to us about how trauma […]
Honoring Anniversaries of Sobriety and Other Milestones
Yesterday marked my 14th anniversary of getting sober – which is a big deal! And also tends to stir up a lot of weird emotions: ambiguous grief, an intense combination of gratitude and longing, lots of hope and heaviness at the same time… So this episode is very much about my recovery specifically, but also […]
Sharing Our Tenderness and Navigating Vulnerability Hangovers
Sharing vulnerability is the foundation of meaningful relationships and wholehearted living. It’s also really fucking hard – by definition. To be vulnerable means to share our tenderness and open ourselves up to the possibility of getting hurt. But it’s super worth it, and it’s the only way to cultivate the kind of connection that most […]
Emotional Archeology and the Joy of (Queer) Authenticity with Coach Jayme Roderick
Figuring out who we are and who we want to be is a long and winding road for all of us – gay, straight, and everything in between. Whether it’s a matter of gender, sexuality, or just what the hell we want to do with our lives, the journey of self-discovery often involves a lot […]
Embracing the Messy Sides of Self-love with Dawn Church
Having a big ol’ snotty cry isn’t a sign that there’s something wrong with us or that we’re somehow broken. It’s actually a radical act of self-love. Meltdowns are just the less fun, less shiny, vastly more unpleasant side of self-love, the side that most of us would prefer to avoid. Turns out, though, that […]
What My Recovery Means to Me
Today marks 13 years since I smoked the last of my weed (July 1st, 2010) and decided to try spending 90 days entirely sober (July 2nd, 2010). As it turned out, being completely substance-free suited me really, really well – eventually. When I got sober, I didn’t really think I had a problem with alcohol. […]
Your Needs Are Not a Failing
Food, water, shelter. Safety and security. Sleep! Friendship and a sense of connection. These are all amongst the foundational needs of every person on this planet. They all fall in the first three sections of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs – the premise of which (if you aren’t familiar) is that basic needs must be met before […]
Mental Health Is Something We Do – Every Day
May was mental health awareness month, so I’m a bit behind the times in writing about it. But, hey! Mental health matters all year round! It’s also something that gets talked about a lot in somewhat vague and empty ways, too often conflated with mental illness. Spoiler: they’re not the same thing. Everyone – and I […]
Crying in Public Is a Service to Humanity
When was the last time you saw someone cry in real life? That is, someone other than yourself (if you’re even prone to letting yourself cry)? Has it been a while? Can you even remember a time?! I hope you can. But I rather suspect for many folks who aren’t either in recovery or working […]
Do You Want a Different Past or a Better Future?
I went “home” again last week (hence the brief hiatus from posting). And much to my surprise, it fucked with me. Just like it always does – even though I haven’t lived there for fifteen years. Admittedly, growing up in Las Vegas meant I had a bizarre fucking childhood. Not because my family was involved […]
If You Can’t Love Yourself, How Can You Trust That Others Do?
Despite what Instagram and TikTok and the rest of the internet might say, cultivating self-love is fucking hard to do. Being able to look yourself in the mirror and say, “damn. I’m awesome!” and then a) not cringe and b) actually mean it? That takes a lot of fucking work and patience. But it is […]
What If Nobody Is Broken?
Here’s a thought to chew on: what if – in spite of all the ways you might struggle with being a human in the world – you aren’t broken? What if the people that hurt us aren’t broken? What if nobody is broken? What would that mean? Who would we be? How would letting go of […]
WTF Is Settling is Bullsh*t?
Hello, dear reader. Welcome to Settling Is Bullshit – a blog of sweary life advice for humans trying to get better at adulting. Read on to learn more about what we’re doing here.