If You’re Freaking Out Right Now…

Consider this your “In Case of Emergency” episode, my dear. It’s ready for you the next time you’re in an anxiety spiral, a weepy meltdown, or any other overwhelming set of feelings that you might call a freak out. 

If you can’t (or don’t want to) call somebody, you can press play and listen to me remind you that you’re going to be okay, and it’s totally normal to freak out sometimes. 

We’ll take some deep breaths together, we’ll co-regulate, and hopefully you’ll feel a little less alone in your big feelings. (Because your feelings are valid, and I’ve totally been there, too!)

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Resources, References, and Links

Note: book recommendations include affiliate links. If you buy a copy, I’ll get a tiny commission, and that would be super cool.

“Freak Out” by CHIC.

Squishmallows. The very best, huggable plushies.

Sympathetic nervous system – listen to the episodes on “Befriending Your Nervous System” (#20 & #21)

Episode #5 – “Embracing the Messy Sides of Self-love with Dawn Church”

Rage room. Go smash things! If you live in Portland or Vancouver, I can vouch for Outraged.

Self-compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff.

Transcript

Note: this transcript was generated by AI. Please forgive any malapropisms and misspellings. It’s the robot’s fault!

Cate Blouke (00:38.702)

Hello darling. Are you freaking out right now? Have you been freaking out lately? Are you in the like freak out land of everything is cuckoo bananas and I can’t handle it?! 

If so, this is for you. And I just want to start by saying that like, even though it feels fucking terrible, it is totally normal to freak out sometimes. There’s a whole song about it. “Freak out!” And I know that’s not what they’re actually talking about, but I’m here to hopefully help you get a little bit re-regulated and bring a little bit of levity to whatever it is that you’re freaking out about. 

Because we all freak out sometimes. Fear and anxiety and overwhelm are all normal human experiences. They are experiences that we do not like. They are not pleasant. But they’re normal. 

And when we try to stuff them down and ignore them and try to not have those experiences, it usually just escalates matters and makes them worse. 

So here we are together in this moment or period of general freak out for you. I am feeling regulated this morning. I’m feeling calm. So I’m here to support you through this, to record this episode so that you can come back to it anytime and listen to it and hear my voice and take a couple of deep breaths to start. 

And when I say let’s take a couple of deep breaths, I mean let’s breathe into our belly and then take longer to breathe out than we do to breathe in. Because both of those things are signals to our bodies that we can relax, that we can move out of the sympathetic nervous system into the parasympathetic nervous system, that we can get more into a rest and digest, regulated state. 

So let’s just start with that.

[sound of deep breathes]

Cate Blouke (03:16.651)

And you know, a couple of deep breaths isn’t gonna miraculously fix everything. It takes more than that. But hopefully that helped a little bit. 

And the truth is that if you are listening to this episode, then you are not being chased by bears right now. You are not in imminent danger of anything in particular. Because you have access to the whatever technology may be listening to my voice.

And when we’re freaking out, 99 % of the time it’s about like, shit we’re afraid is gonna happen in the future, or we’ve hit our threshold of I can’t fucking deal with all of the stuff that has piled up on me. But whatever it is, it’s not quite happening right this second. 

Because again, if it was happening right this second, we wouldn’t be here together. So here we are.

You’re hearing my voice. I’m talking to you. And in this moment, you’re OK. You don’t feel good. You feel however you feel that is not pleasant and that has brought you to this episode today. 

But I encourage you to just feel the surface that you are on, whether you’re lying on the floor, staring at the ceiling in a fit of existential angst, whether you’re curled up on your couch, hopefully with a squishmallow or something cozy, wherever you are, hopefully not driving. (This isn’t really a driving episode, but too late. We’re here.) Even if you are, then it’s extra important to be really present right now, in this moment. 

Because fear is future-oriented. Our system goes on alert because we are afraid of something that might happen. Sometimes that is a completely reasonable fear. Sometimes it’s not. But our poor little brains often can’t tell the difference. And so here we are. And if your freakout is more about overwhelm, all of the stuff that has piled up behind you…

Cate Blouke (05:37.657)

Then similarly, what there is to do is to get present, to sort of set that stuff down. Like, I’m just imagining wherever you are in this like freak out moment, if it’s stuff that has piled up on you, then that’s in one hand, and if it’s “fucking everything’s gonna be terrible in the future,” that’s in another hand. And like my invitation is to just like set those down for a minute.

They don’t have to go anywhere. They just get to not be in your hands for a minute. 

And you get to be here with me in this moment, hearing the reminder that you are strong, that you are capable, that all of these feelings aren’t forever, and they also aren’t facts. 

What’s happening now, whatever it is, won’t be what’s happening tomorrow or next week or in six months. We don’t actually have any way of knowing what’s gonna be happening tomorrow or next week or in six months. 

Here, in this moment, we can breathe.

Cate Blouke (06:57.318)

And we can come back to ourselves. And we can remember that like, our bodies evolved this whole system of alert to help us stay alive. And way back in the day, thousands of years ago, when we didn’t have TV or the news or jobs, our system evolved to like, let us know when there was a threat and a-

that time threats were really more about like, is there a tiger gonna eat my face? And so our system evolved to like activate us around that threat and say, run away or kill that fucking thing or freeze so that it doesn’t see you and it just goes on its merry way. And the problem that we’re facing today in this like oversaturated information explosion bombardment era of modern life is that the tigers are everywhere. 

Especially right now. The tigers are fucking everywhere. They’re all up in your shit. You open your phone, there’s a tiger. You drive down the street and see a billboard, there’s a tiger. You get on the phone with somebody and they mention something and there’s another fucking tiger. 

And so we don’t have the opportunity to get away from all of these imaginary tigers. And so no wonder our systems are freaking out. No wonder you’re freaking out right now. 

It’s totally normal. It’s totally normal to be freaking the fuck out right now. 

And the cool thing about the fact that you’re freaking out is that you’re giving your system a chance to actually process all of the cortisol and the adrenaline and all of the built up neurochemicals that get flooded into your system when the tigers become too much. 

‘Cause the thing is, like, our bodies, whether we consciously like it or not, whether we consciously think about it or not, whether we let ourselves notice what’s happening or not, our bodies are doing a bunch of shit. And when we get stressed, when we get afraid,

Cate Blouke (09:14.938)

It’s dumping all of that stuff into our system. And if we don’t take the time to process it, to let it move through our system, it builds up and we explode, and it builds up and we explode, and it builds up and we explode. 

We get into these cycles. And if we do that too much, if we continue to not let it move through our system, whether that’s through crying, whether that’s through… I mean, for me, it’s crying, so my brain just stopped. I’m like, I don’t know, is there an option that isn’t crying? You know, whatever, like channeling it somewhere. 

If we don’t let ourselves do that, it catches up to us. The internal tiger catches up to us and we freak the fuck out. 

And some of us are more sensitive than others. And so it feels like we’re doing this all the time. And like, that’s really exhausting and unfair. And I imagine if you’re listening to this, you might… You might be in that camp. 

But I just think it’s so helpful to hear the reminder that like there is so much to freak out about right now. And that we’re all like doing the best we can under those circumstances. But in spring of 2025, the world in the US specifically is a very stressful and overwhelming and scary place. 

And we can’t get away from it. Even if we are doing our fucking best to not engage too much, to like, I don’t want to use the word ignore it because there is a level of like healthy boundaries and self-protection. But no matter how hard you might be working right now to maintain regulation, to maintain a sense of calm and groundedness, like, that’s just everywhere. 

There’s so much uncertainty. There’s so much chaos and we’re not immune. And so like that kind of atmospheric muck is just there on top of our normal like life stress of like jobs and relationships and health and how do I do anything under these circumstances? And so it’s so important…

Cate Blouke (11:36.774)

to give ourselves grace when we do freak out. 

Because I know for me what happens when I’m freaking out is then I get frustrated that I’m freaking out. This just happened pretty recently. Which is why this is kind of topically on my mind and I’m in a good place today and I can offer this so that you can be listening to it so that I can listen to it again. 

Because let me tell ya, I find it helpful to have someone remind me that like, of course you’re freaking out right now. All of those things, all of those reasons. 

And I encourage you to list them out loud. You know, can pause this recording and pretend we’re having a conversation and say, you know, Cate, it’s this and it’s this and it’s this. And now that I think about it, it’s that and this and the other thing…

Because there’s a reason you’re freaking out right now. Like it’s not unreasonable to freak out. Please hear that. Like it’s not unreasonable. 

You’re not broken or wrong or too sensitive. Like there’s nothing wrong with you if you’re freaking out right now. There’s just too much muchness everywhere right now. And so of course you’re freaking out. 

And my experience of the freak outs, of the meltdowns. I tend to call them meltdowns because that’s how it feels. And again, I default to crying. 

Whatever it is and whatever it looks like, it’s normal and it’s necessary. 

And as I talked about in one of the very early episodes of this podcast with Dawn Church – meltdowns and freak outs and overwhelm and all of this is an important part of self-care.

Because the truth is when we’re tamping down our feelings, when we’re ignoring them, when we’re not acknowledging them, when we’re not letting them move through our system, we’re not taking care of ourselves. 

And I gotta tell you, that idea kinda blew my mind and has been so helpful in giving myself grace around the meltdowns. You know, when I have to call a friend crying and just say like, all of the things, it’s this and all right, and I hate this.

Cate Blouke (13:56.654)

It’s been helpful to recognize that like that is actually me taking care of myself. To give myself a little gold star, because y’all know that I fucking love gold stars. 

And so I just, I want to give you a gold star for listening to this right now. And if you call somebody and talk about whatever it is that’s going on, platinum star for that, because it can be so hard when we’re in it to reach out, to be honest, to let people see us in our messy, weepy snotty-ness, or our rage. 

Maybe your freakout is I just wanna break everything and murder everyone and “aaaarrrgghhh!”

Cate Blouke (14:39.596)

And gentle, loving, supportive reminder that actually saying the like “aaargh!” and yelling is one of the ways that we process this shit. And it’s super helpful. It’s super helpful. 

Like pent up rage needs somewhere to go. And you don’t have to go to a rage room, although I’m a big fan. You know, calling someone and saying like, my God, I just need to vent. And then holding the phone away from your mouth and yelling and saying the things. 

There is so much power in allowing ourselves to be witnessed, to be heard, and to get it out of our system. Like that’s fundamentally the thing. 

Like wherever you are. Hopefully you’re feeling a little bit better at this point in this conversation, but you gotta let it out. It’s gotta go somewhere. You can journal, you can yell about it. You can record it into your own little voice memo and then delete it. 

But we really are little pressure cookers. Our bodies are doing shit with or without our approval. And all of the like toxins and chemicals and all of that gunk up in there has to go somewhere. Physical movement, somatic practices like moving your body, shaking your body, dancing it out, jumping it out, just like giving a wiggle. Like all of that will help because we don’t have conscious control of our nervous system. 

It’s very annoying. It would be so nice if we could just be like, “hey, buddy, be chill right now.” But that’s why we’ve developed all of these like meditation and yoga and breathwork… just like all of these fucking practices that we all hear about all the time, and it’s just like so much effort to deal with and to try to incorporate, but like it’s the stuff that helps. 

And so I hope, I really hope, that you don’t feel so alone in your freakout right now. That you will give yourself some grace around it. Give yourself some yummy juicy self-compassion That what you’re going through is really fucking hard.

Cate Blouke (17:04.582)

That it makes sense that you feel the way that you feel, that you’re not alone in that experience. Like, it’s a very human experience that you are having right now. Everybody freaks out sometimes. 

And you’re not wrong for freaking out. You’re not bad. You’re not damaged. You’re not defective. You’re not too much. God, sweetheart, just hear me when I say you are not too much. 

You’re just a sweet little human, having one of the various unpleasant human experiences, and you’re going to be okay. 

Drink some water. Take a nap if you need to. Take a mental health day. Please sweet Jesus, take a mental health day, and reach out for the connection that is available. 

And so if you need some practical tools, my invitation is to write a fear inventory, like write down all of the things that you’re freaking out about or write a “fuck you list” of all the things that you’re angry about. Write a why is everything so terrible list of all the things that you’re sad about. 

You know, those are some things you can do by yourself without having to reach out to anyone. Although I really do encourage you to reach out to somebody who loves you. There are people who love you. 

And once you’ve written all of that out, like take a couple more deep breaths. And then respond as if someone that you love dearly had just said all of those things that they are freaking out about to you. Like, what would you tell them? 

(That’s an exercise from Self-compassion by Kristin Neff. It’s one that I have used many times. It’s really helpful.)

More than anything in this moment of freak out, let yourself cry. Let yourself yell. Let your body tell you what it wants and needs to do right now to get this out of your system and like know that this is just the cycle of life, the cycle of emotions, the cycle of existing in a world that is overstimulating and loud and chaotic and uncertain and that we don’t have control over. 

It’s really annoying that we don’t have more control over our lives and our bodies and our feelings.

Cate Blouke (19:26.994)

So I’m giving you just like such an energetic hug and so much empathy for where you are in this moment because I’ve been there. I know exactly what it feels like to be this swept up in emotion. I don’t know exactly what all of the like components are, but the truth is I don’t have to because like we’ve gone beyond the like, it’s not actually about the thing.

It’s about all the things in your system exploding. And I sure know what that’s like. It happens to me a lot more often than I would prefer. But part of the like radical acts of self-care are learning how to help myself in those moments, are learning to reach for the breath work and this recording and the people and all of it. It’s effortful, but it’s worth it.

So I am just like imagining your sweet little face, whether it is blotchy and tear stained and snotty or angry, whatever is going on. I’m just giving you a great big hug right now and taking a deep breath with you.

Cate Blouke (20:49.7)and reminding you that you’re gonna be okay. You’re okay right now. You’re gonna be okay. This is just like super fucking hard and super shitty. And it makes sense that you feel how you feel. So know that I love you and you’re probably doing better than you feel. Because feelings aren’t facts. Much love.