Being a Contribution
You know what fuels patriarchy and capitalism? The “what’s in it for me” mindset. You know what nourishes our souls and creates a sense of community, connection, and care (especially during difficult times)? Shifting into the mindset of being a contribution. Whether we call it being of service, sharing our gifts, or leaving things better […]
Getting Through the Messy Middle
Any time we’re making changes in our lives, any time we’re learning something new, any time the universe throws us a curve ball – there’s usually a big chunk of mess we have to wade through to get to the other side. This episode goes out to anyone who’s feeling stuck in that muck. Sometimes […]
Navigating Dating and Rejection (Cultivating Resilience)
Dating is hard. Full stop. And if we want to find ourselves a partner in this wacky world of online dating and modern romance, it means opening ourselves up to rejection (unfortunately). But love is worth it. And navigating dating and rejection with self-compassion and self-care means choosing to lean into hope. This episode goes […]
If You’re Freaking Out Right Now…
Consider this your “In Case of Emergency” episode, my dear. It’s ready for you the next time you’re in an anxiety spiral, a weepy meltdown, or any other overwhelming set of feelings that you might call a freak out. If you can’t (or don’t want to) call somebody, you can press play and listen to […]
Cultivating Joy Amidst the Shit Show
The world is bananas right now. A lot of us are angry, afraid, and struggling to stay out of the pit of despair. And that makes sense! It’s totally understandable. AND… my offering to you in this episode is the idea that centering ourselves in joy is what will fuel our ability to keep showing […]
Practical Mysticism and Trusting the Divine with Julie Day
What would it be like to live in a world filled with unconditional love? A world where we fully trusted in ourselves, where we felt utterly supported in showing up for the lessons the universe has laid out for us? It’s aspirational, for sure. But maybe it’s not quite so out of reach as we […]
My Favorite Books of 2024
While I do love all the year in review recaps that start popping up in early December, I can’t help but feel that means the last 20 or so days of the year become a black hole lost to time. And maybe because my birthday is in late December, I’m especially sensitive to making sure […]
Intuition & The Reclamation of Feminine Wisdom with Andrea Leda
What if your intuition could be your secret weapon for changing the world? Seriously! What would shift if you thought about listening to your inner wisdom as a downright revolutionary act on both the personal and collective stage? In this lovely conversation with depth coach Andrea Leda, we unpack the magic and power of feminine […]
The Difference between Settling and Acceptance
When life is doing shit that we don’t like, acceptance is the jumping off point, y’all. Settling is the crash landing. Or maybe it’s the getting stuck on a sandbar landing. Settling is definitely muddy and gross, and I do not wish it upon any of you beautiful souls! Acceptance, on the other hand, is […]
A Pep Talk for Patience!
Oh my goodness, thank you for your patience! Settling Is Bullshit is back! Season two of the podcast is officially here, and we have a glorious new logo to celebrate. I couldn’t be more delighted. I also was definitely on the struggle bus for a while – waiting to get this train rolling again. I […]
Honoring Anniversaries of Sobriety and Other Milestones
Yesterday marked my 14th anniversary of getting sober – which is a big deal! And also tends to stir up a lot of weird emotions: ambiguous grief, an intense combination of gratitude and longing, lots of hope and heaviness at the same time… So this episode is very much about my recovery specifically, but also […]
Forget Goals. Set Intentions Instead.
‘Tis the season for all of us to either contemplate the merits of New Year’s resolutions or ignore them completely. And while I do absolutely love a big, exciting goal, I’m also super aware of the ways goals can lead us astray, quickly become demotivating, or result in giving up before we ever get real […]
My Best Reads of 2023
It wouldn’t be the end of the year without a flurry of wrap up posts and stories. Since I’m a big believer in paying attention to ritual and seasons changing, I’m jumping on the bandwagon and offering up a contribution of my own. (I also love recommending books, so this is as good an excuse […]
Hope Isn’t a Feeling – It’s a Choice
While we often talk about “feeling” hopeful, that phrasing is a little misleading – because unlike sadness or joy or fear, hope isn’t actually a feeling. It’s a mental process that we can choose to engage in. It’s not an internal signal that naturally occurs. In other words, hope is something we do rather than […]
Happiness is Fleeting, Wholeness Persists
I think one of the most important lessons I’ve learned in recovery is that feelings aren’t forever – all of them. Happy, sad, afraid, elated, hopeless, irritated, confused, delighted, embarrassed, ashamed, adored… none of them are permanent states of being, and trying to make them last is an unrealistic goal. But we do try, and […]
If You Can’t Love Yourself, How Can You Trust That Others Do?
Despite what Instagram and TikTok and the rest of the internet might say, cultivating self-love is fucking hard to do. Being able to look yourself in the mirror and say, “damn. I’m awesome!” and then a) not cringe and b) actually mean it? That takes a lot of fucking work and patience. But it is […]
WTF Is Settling is Bullsh*t?
Hello, dear reader. Welcome to Settling Is Bullshit – a blog of sweary life advice for humans trying to get better at adulting. Read on to learn more about what we’re doing here.