Intentions Are Better Than Goals (Especially for the New Year)
It’s a new year, same you, my love! Hurray! You are magical just as you are. Except you’re also not the same – because SOMETHING has changed since the last new year. Even if it’s just the aches in your knees, time means something has changed. Hopefully, it’s something you wanted to change. If it […]
In Praise of Gentle Consistency
I don’t know about y’all, but I am exhausted with the everything-ness of the world right now. It’s all just so much! Nevertheless, we persist. And I hope we are all persisting in whatever way we are able with a degree of gentleness. We all know that consistency is key to getting where we want […]
The Difference between Settling and Acceptance
When life is doing shit that we don’t like, acceptance is the jumping off point, y’all. Settling is the crash landing. Or maybe it’s the getting stuck on a sandbar landing. Settling is definitely muddy and gross, and I do not wish it upon any of you beautiful souls! Acceptance, on the other hand, is […]
Habits and Routines and Rituals, Oh My!
Especially in an era that we weren’t evolutionarily designed for, there is way too much shit going on in our lives to get everything done. It’s also super hard to make changes when we’ve gotten ourselves into a rut. Generating momentum around something we want to do for ourselves takes a lot of effort and […]
Doing Things Imperfectly – In Public
What does it mean to have a perfect house? Perfect body? Perfect job? What does perfection feel like? Does it have a color, or a taste? Is it even real? When I stop to think about it, I don’t really know the answer to any of that. In my four decades on earth, I don’t […]
Forget Goals. Set Intentions Instead.
‘Tis the season for all of us to either contemplate the merits of New Year’s resolutions or ignore them completely. And while I do absolutely love a big, exciting goal, I’m also super aware of the ways goals can lead us astray, quickly become demotivating, or result in giving up before we ever get real […]
Savoring Our Accomplishments
This week, I wrapped up nine months of intensive coach training in two different programs. I’ve now got more than enough educational hours under my belt to qualify for Level 2 (PCC) credentialing with the International Coaching Federation. (I will need to rack up a couple hundred more coaching hours to earn that credential, but […]
Start Small and You May Surprise Yourself
Y’all, I started this blog a little over a year ago after a deeply painful breakup and a looming 40th birthday prompted me to re-evaluate what the fuck I was really doing with my life. I set a goal of writing 6 posts in 6 weeks to see what would happen. That felt like a […]
What If *Everything* Counted?
Fitbits, Apple watches, apps upon apps upon apps… if you’re doing a thing and want to track it, the technology is there. Want to know how you’re sleeping? There’s an app for that. Want to keep an eye on water intake, or mood, or your cycle, or stress levels, or even your bowel movements – […]
Dreams Come True a Day at a Time
When I was first getting sober, everyone kept saying how it happens a day at a time. We just don’t drink today, they said. Which, honestly, felt like a stupid, trite catchphrase that was designed to make me crazy. What the fuck did they mean, “a day at a time?” What about next year? What […]
It’s Priority – Singular.
It’s a common refrain. We tell ourselves we need to sort out our priorities. We just have to identify our priorities and take meaningful action around them. Once we have our priority list, we can make better decisions! Our priorities will guide us!! Except they won’t. Because there’s no such thing as more than one […]
Whatever It Is, Just Pick It Back Up
You know the feeling – suddenly you look up and it’s been weeks or months since you did the thing that you used to do every day. And you feel both panicked and exhausted, and the prospect of getting back to it feels like doing a pull up with arms made of noodles. Or, maybe […]
Finding the Sweet Spot between Grit and Grace
I don’t want to write today, but I’m doing it anyway. Yay, I’m being gritty! And that is awesome, right? Maybe. According to Angela Duckworth (who wrote the book on Grit), “grit is passion and perseverance for long-term goals.” And every piece of writing advice ever will tell you that writing daily is the way […]
Hope Isn’t a Feeling – It’s a Choice
While we often talk about “feeling” hopeful, that phrasing is a little misleading – because unlike sadness or joy or fear, hope isn’t actually a feeling. It’s a mental process that we can choose to engage in. It’s not an internal signal that naturally occurs. In other words, hope is something we do rather than […]
Whatever It Is, Just F**king Start
I’ve never actually read Goethe, but he’s got this lovely quote that you may have seen running around the internet: “Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.” It’s a great sentiment. And one that I’ve reframed a bit in the title […]