The Insidious Grip of a Fixed Mindset
Do you have a dream, my friend? A little idea in the back of your soul that yearns to be made real? Do you want to write a book, or start a nonprofit, or create something beautiful in the world? And have you been telling yourself that your dream is possible or that it’s “just” […]
Embracing Imperfection and the Nonlinear Path with Carrie Andersen, PhD
For recovering perfectionists, type-A planners, and those of us who really just want to get an A at life, it can be extra hard to try new things. It can also be super hard when life throws us curve balls and those meticulous plans have to change. But it doesn’t have to be quite so […]
In Praise of Gentle Consistency
I don’t know about y’all, but I am exhausted with the everything-ness of the world right now. It’s all just so much! Nevertheless, we persist. And I hope we are all persisting in whatever way we are able with a degree of gentleness. We all know that consistency is key to getting where we want […]
Sharing Our Tenderness and Navigating Vulnerability Hangovers
Sharing vulnerability is the foundation of meaningful relationships and wholehearted living. It’s also really fucking hard – by definition. To be vulnerable means to share our tenderness and open ourselves up to the possibility of getting hurt. But it’s super worth it, and it’s the only way to cultivate the kind of connection that most […]
Giving Yourself Permission
Adulting is fucking hard, y’all. It’s exhausting. It’s annoying. It’s expensive. And the only way to navigate it and stay sane (and hygenic) is by instituting rules to keep ourselves in check. We all have our own internalized set of policies and procedures we follow in order to stay afloat in our lives. We have […]
The Podcast Is Aliiiive!
Holy shit, y’all. I did it. We did it. It’s done did! Settling Is Bullshit is officially a podcast – alive and well, available anywhere you listen to podcasts. And I am so freaking stoked that I woke up at 3:00 am, buzzing with enthusiasm. Not stress, not anxiety, just pure enthusiastic joy that I […]
Viewing Our Past with Generosity
Every once in a while, the opportunity presents itself to dive back into our past. I’m not talking about general rumination on how things could have been, but on the objects or artifacts we stumble across out of the blue. Sometimes this looks like sifting through old pictures or picking up an ancient journal. Sometimes […]
Doing Things Imperfectly – In Public
What does it mean to have a perfect house? Perfect body? Perfect job? What does perfection feel like? Does it have a color, or a taste? Is it even real? When I stop to think about it, I don’t really know the answer to any of that. In my four decades on earth, I don’t […]
Permission to Be Unoriginal
Warning: nothing you’re about to read here will be original. It will, nevertheless, be worthwhile. (I hope). When it comes to creativity, or starting a business (which is creative, btw), or cooking, or dancing, or dating, or any number of the things we do in the world that invite our inner critic to berate us […]
Finding the Sweet Spot between Grit and Grace
I don’t want to write today, but I’m doing it anyway. Yay, I’m being gritty! And that is awesome, right? Maybe. According to Angela Duckworth (who wrote the book on Grit), “grit is passion and perseverance for long-term goals.” And every piece of writing advice ever will tell you that writing daily is the way […]
Fear Is a Sneaky F*cker
I’m gonna go ahead and make a bold claim/sweeping generalization here: unless we’re actively practicing self awareness, most of us live our lives driven by fear. And most of us are pretty oblivious about it until we start really looking at what we’re doing. Hopefully you noticed that I included myself in that. I’m not […]