Thriving with ADHD and Un-shaming Our Life Pivots with TT Hernandez
Living with ADHD in a neurotypical world is hard. It just is. But we don’t have to lose ourselves in shame and self-loathing when we can’t contort ourselves into the shapes society wants for us. In this conversation with TT Hernandez, artist and trauma-informed coach for creative minds, we share about our journeys as late-in-life […]
Getting Through the Messy Middle
Any time we’re making changes in our lives, any time we’re learning something new, any time the universe throws us a curve ball – there’s usually a big chunk of mess we have to wade through to get to the other side. This episode goes out to anyone who’s feeling stuck in that muck. Sometimes […]
Whatever It Is, Just Pick It Back Up (Again)
Whether it’s a New Year’s Resolution that’s already fallen to the wayside, a healthy habit you’ve been struggling to reintegrate, or a lovely little hobby that once brought you joy – today’s episode is your pep talk to just pick it back up. No guilt. No shame. No stories about wasted time. The truth is […]
Creativity and Movement Toward Healing with Amanda Melbostad
Creativity isn’t just for artists. It’s a way of engaging with the world that we all have access to, and which offers a playful and engaging pathway toward healing. It’s also a thing that we do with our bodies! That makes it an extra-helpful way to get out of our heads and move through whatever […]
If Nothing Changes, Nothing Changes
While it’s a pithy and seemingly obvious statement, the fact remains that: if nothing changes, nothing changes. In other words, if we want things to be different, we have to start doing things differently. This counts for dating, career change, healthy habits, sobriety – any time we want things to be better, easier, or more […]
The Insidious Grip of a Fixed Mindset
Do you have a dream, my friend? A little idea in the back of your soul that yearns to be made real? Do you want to write a book, or start a nonprofit, or create something beautiful in the world? And have you been telling yourself that your dream is possible or that it’s “just” […]
Healing Trauma through Expressive Writing with Dr. Stacey Hettes
No matter how much we cognitively “know” about how trauma works, none of us are immune from the grip it can have on our capacity to deal with life. Thankfully, there are ways out, and writing is one of them. Dr. Stacey Hettes knows this firsthand. In spite of her PhD in neuroscience and decades […]
Rest *and Play* Are Requirements, Not Rewards
We all know that sleep is good for us, but it turns out that play is super good for us, too! Both are vital for healthy brain functioning – though, obviously, sleep is most important in that category. But we need both rest and play in order to live vibrant, fulfilled, and joyful lives. And […]
Saying “Yes, And” to Life
I’m back from break and kicking off season three with some encouragement to embrace ambiguity and accept what life is throwing as us (even amidst the shit show) by saying “yes, and” to what’s on offer. We usually don’t like to look at it this way, but the truth is that we’re all just making […]
My Favorite Books of 2024
While I do love all the year in review recaps that start popping up in early December, I can’t help but feel that means the last 20 or so days of the year become a black hole lost to time. And maybe because my birthday is in late December, I’m especially sensitive to making sure […]
Making Brave Choices
We all have shit going on in our lives that scares us, even if we don’t necessarily think of it as fear. And that means we all have to make brave choices sometimes, even if we don’t necessarily think of it as bravery. But facing our shit – whether it’s the big, heavy stuff, or the […]
Adopting a F*ck Around and Find Out Approach to Life with Mindset Coach Ally Rounsley
Swearing is caring, y’all! And in this extra sweary episode, mindset coach and recovering perfectionist Ally Rounsley takes us on a deep dive into how to build resilience by stepping into a f*ck around and find out (FAAFO) mentality. Though, not in the getting-into-fights sense that this phrasing sometimes implies. (And also not in a […]
On Creativity, Identity, Queerness, and Belonging with Filmmaker Jacob Combs
We all pick up a lot of labels over the course of a lifetime – the jobs we have, the ways we show up in the world, the communities to which we belong. Sometimes the labels stick; sometimes we outgrow them. And the beauty and tragedy of adulthood is that it’s really up to each […]
Emotional Archeology and the Joy of (Queer) Authenticity with Coach Jayme Roderick
Figuring out who we are and who we want to be is a long and winding road for all of us – gay, straight, and everything in between. Whether it’s a matter of gender, sexuality, or just what the hell we want to do with our lives, the journey of self-discovery often involves a lot […]
Habits and Routines and Rituals, Oh My!
Especially in an era that we weren’t evolutionarily designed for, there is way too much shit going on in our lives to get everything done. It’s also super hard to make changes when we’ve gotten ourselves into a rut. Generating momentum around something we want to do for ourselves takes a lot of effort and […]
Guilt-free Pleasures and Chasing Your Dreams with Romance Novelist Alyssa Jarrett
Let’s talk about sex, baby! Or, talk about how reading and writing about sex is a guilt-free, shame-free political act. That’s right, in this conversation with the fabulous debut romance novelist Alyssa Jarrett we go on a wild ride about feminism, authenticity, identity, privilege, pursuing our creativity in the face of nay-sayers, and… werewolf erotica. […]
The Joy and Discomfort of Trying New Things
For a lot of us, trying new things (aka learning) can be deeply, wrenchingly uncomfortable. It can also be super duper awesome, especially on the other side. There is joy to be found in our expansion, in our stepping out or into the world of possibility and weathering the discomfort that comes from growth. We […]
Using Movement to Shift Perspective with Dr. Sarah Roth
Fun fact: our connective tissue has more neurons and neuroreceptors than any other organ in the body! Which means any physical movement we make can have a substantial impact on our mental outlook – a handy concept we can leverage when trying to implement changes in our lives. In other words: move your butt to […]
Forget Goals. Set Intentions Instead.
‘Tis the season for all of us to either contemplate the merits of New Year’s resolutions or ignore them completely. And while I do absolutely love a big, exciting goal, I’m also super aware of the ways goals can lead us astray, quickly become demotivating, or result in giving up before we ever get real […]
My Best Reads of 2023
It wouldn’t be the end of the year without a flurry of wrap up posts and stories. Since I’m a big believer in paying attention to ritual and seasons changing, I’m jumping on the bandwagon and offering up a contribution of my own. (I also love recommending books, so this is as good an excuse […]
Whatever It Is, Just Pick It Back Up
You know the feeling – suddenly you look up and it’s been weeks or months since you did the thing that you used to do every day. And you feel both panicked and exhausted, and the prospect of getting back to it feels like doing a pull up with arms made of noodles. Or, maybe […]
Finding the Sweet Spot between Grit and Grace
I don’t want to write today, but I’m doing it anyway. Yay, I’m being gritty! And that is awesome, right? Maybe. According to Angela Duckworth (who wrote the book on Grit), “grit is passion and perseverance for long-term goals.” And every piece of writing advice ever will tell you that writing daily is the way […]
WTF Is Settling is Bullsh*t?
Hello, dear reader. Welcome to Settling Is Bullshit – a blog of sweary life advice for humans trying to get better at adulting. Read on to learn more about what we’re doing here.
Whatever It Is, Just F**king Start
I’ve never actually read Goethe, but he’s got this lovely quote that you may have seen running around the internet: “Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.” It’s a great sentiment. And one that I’ve reframed a bit in the title […]