Reflective Practices and Living Intentionally with Dr. John Miles, PhD
Why do we do the things we do? And, more importantly, why do we keep doing them? Taking the time to reflect – to slow down, look back, and ask ourselves whether the path we’ve been on is the one we want to stay on – helps us be the person we truly want to […]
What It Means to Prioritize Ourselves
We often talk about getting our priorities in order or making a priority list – that if we could just clearly rank everything in order of importance, then we’d have our shit figured out. And that’s true! Sort of. You see, when we look at the word priority itself, it’s singular. To prioritize something means […]
Becoming Cheerleaders for Each Other
There’s not really any such thing as succeeding on our own. We don’t live in a vacuum. Every person living a big, cool life has gotten there with help from others. And I fundamentally believe that we are here on this planet to lift each other up. It’s just shitty that in the endless news […]
Befriending Your Nervous System Part 2 with Body Wisdom Coach Marjorie Schreurs
How do our bodies store trauma and what does that even mean? Why does getting triggered hijack our capacity to think straight? And what the heck can we do to heal from our past and nurture a well-regulated nervous system so we’re not freaking out all the time?! Well, listen in my love! In the […]
Befriending Your Nervous System Part 1 with Body Wisdom Coach Marjorie Schreurs
How well do you hear the signals your body is sending, my love? Most of us either don’t hear so well or too often choose not to listen… and the consequences can look like burnout, meltdowns, freak outs, and tantrums, or chronic fatigue, self-criticism, and general cranky-pants-ness. So! Got a body? This episode is for […]
The Difference between Settling and Acceptance
When life is doing shit that we don’t like, acceptance is the jumping off point, y’all. Settling is the crash landing. Or maybe it’s the getting stuck on a sandbar landing. Settling is definitely muddy and gross, and I do not wish it upon any of you beautiful souls! Acceptance, on the other hand, is […]
How Trauma Disrupts Our Capacity for Joy with Dr. Stephanie Goldsmith, PhD
We all have trauma, y’all. It just might not be Trauma with a capital T. Instead, many/most of us are just wandering around on this journey of life getting hijacked by our little-t trauma responses without even knowing it! That’s why I brought in a globally-renowned trauma expert to talk to us about how trauma […]
A Pep Talk for Patience!
Oh my goodness, thank you for your patience! Settling Is Bullshit is back! Season two of the podcast is officially here, and we have a glorious new logo to celebrate. I couldn’t be more delighted. I also was definitely on the struggle bus for a while – waiting to get this train rolling again. I […]
Making Brave Choices
We all have shit going on in our lives that scares us, even if we don’t necessarily think of it as fear. And that means we all have to make brave choices sometimes, even if we don’t necessarily think of it as bravery. But facing our shit – whether it’s the big, heavy stuff, or the […]
Adopting a F*ck Around and Find Out Approach to Life with Mindset Coach Ally Rounsley
Swearing is caring, y’all! And in this extra sweary episode, mindset coach and recovering perfectionist Ally Rounsley takes us on a deep dive into how to build resilience by stepping into a f*ck around and find out (FAAFO) mentality. Though, not in the getting-into-fights sense that this phrasing sometimes implies. (And also not in a […]
Honoring Anniversaries of Sobriety and Other Milestones
Yesterday marked my 14th anniversary of getting sober – which is a big deal! And also tends to stir up a lot of weird emotions: ambiguous grief, an intense combination of gratitude and longing, lots of hope and heaviness at the same time… So this episode is very much about my recovery specifically, but also […]
Sharing Our Tenderness and Navigating Vulnerability Hangovers
Sharing vulnerability is the foundation of meaningful relationships and wholehearted living. It’s also really fucking hard – by definition. To be vulnerable means to share our tenderness and open ourselves up to the possibility of getting hurt. But it’s super worth it, and it’s the only way to cultivate the kind of connection that most […]
Be the Weirdo Who Dares to Enjoy
If I could bottle up and sell a single magic elixir to the world, it would be a potion of self-acceptance. Because the truth is, as the LP song goes, we are all strange. And I think the world would be a kinder, more joyful, more vibrant place if we could all celebrate that instead […]
Habits and Routines and Rituals, Oh My!
Especially in an era that we weren’t evolutionarily designed for, there is way too much shit going on in our lives to get everything done. It’s also super hard to make changes when we’ve gotten ourselves into a rut. Generating momentum around something we want to do for ourselves takes a lot of effort and […]
Recharging Your Batteries
While it’s easy to intellectually know that we need rest in order to get on with the business of adulting, it isn’t always that easy to know what kind of rest we actually need. Pausing to recharge is hard enough on its own, but unless we get clear on what kind of energy we’re trying […]
Giving Yourself Permission
Adulting is fucking hard, y’all. It’s exhausting. It’s annoying. It’s expensive. And the only way to navigate it and stay sane (and hygenic) is by instituting rules to keep ourselves in check. We all have our own internalized set of policies and procedures we follow in order to stay afloat in our lives. We have […]
Embracing the Messy Sides of Self-love with Dawn Church
Having a big ol’ snotty cry isn’t a sign that there’s something wrong with us or that we’re somehow broken. It’s actually a radical act of self-love. Meltdowns are just the less fun, less shiny, vastly more unpleasant side of self-love, the side that most of us would prefer to avoid. Turns out, though, that […]
The Joy and Discomfort of Trying New Things
For a lot of us, trying new things (aka learning) can be deeply, wrenchingly uncomfortable. It can also be super duper awesome, especially on the other side. There is joy to be found in our expansion, in our stepping out or into the world of possibility and weathering the discomfort that comes from growth. We […]
The Podcast Is Aliiiive!
Holy shit, y’all. I did it. We did it. It’s done did! Settling Is Bullshit is officially a podcast – alive and well, available anywhere you listen to podcasts. And I am so freaking stoked that I woke up at 3:00 am, buzzing with enthusiasm. Not stress, not anxiety, just pure enthusiastic joy that I […]
Take Yourself on a F*cking Date!
Come one, come all! This post applies to single folks and double folks alike! (Lol. I guess I mean married or partnered folks, but I’m often struck by the silliness of the “single” label). The premise I’m about to explore is that anyone – whether romantically attached to another human or not – can benefit from […]
Viewing Our Past with Generosity
Every once in a while, the opportunity presents itself to dive back into our past. I’m not talking about general rumination on how things could have been, but on the objects or artifacts we stumble across out of the blue. Sometimes this looks like sifting through old pictures or picking up an ancient journal. Sometimes […]
Action Fuels Motivation (Seriously)
Do you dream about bigger, cooler, more joyful ways of being but just can’t quite seem to make them happen? Or, to maintain momentum once you start? If so, you are not alone, my friend. Not at all. It’s so fucking hard to stay motived – even around the things we deeply, desperately want for […]
Dating Is Supposed to Be FUN.
Hear ye, hear ye! The dreaded V-Day approacheth! And I come bearing reminders for self-care and self-advocacy! You DO have agency around your dating life! You DON’T have to fall into the morass of self pity and despair! There is hope – should you choose to reach for it!! Lol. But really, y’all. Dating isn’t […]
Doing Things Imperfectly – In Public
What does it mean to have a perfect house? Perfect body? Perfect job? What does perfection feel like? Does it have a color, or a taste? Is it even real? When I stop to think about it, I don’t really know the answer to any of that. In my four decades on earth, I don’t […]
Forget Goals. Set Intentions Instead.
‘Tis the season for all of us to either contemplate the merits of New Year’s resolutions or ignore them completely. And while I do absolutely love a big, exciting goal, I’m also super aware of the ways goals can lead us astray, quickly become demotivating, or result in giving up before we ever get real […]
Stepping Into Discomfort
To be comfortable, according to ye ol’ dictionary, is to be free from vexation, doubt, stress, or tension. I.e. to be comfortable means to be free of anything that stretches or changes us in any way – because change means stepping into the unknown, stepping into the potential for doubt, stress, and vexation. In other […]
Start Talking to Yourself Like a Friend
Do you do the thing that so many of us do where you call yourself an idiot for making a minor mistake? Do you say things like “I’m so stupid,” or “I suck,” or “I’m the worst?” If so, you’re not alone. But also – please knock that shit off. Please? It’s not nice. And […]
WTF Is Settling is Bullsh*t?
Hello, dear reader. Welcome to Settling Is Bullshit – a blog of sweary life advice for humans trying to get better at adulting. Read on to learn more about what we’re doing here.