The Insidious Grip of a Fixed Mindset
Do you have a dream, my friend? A little idea in the back of your soul that yearns to be made real? Do you want to write a book, or start a nonprofit, or create something beautiful in the world? And have you been telling yourself that your dream is possible or that it’s “just” […]
Rest *and Play* Are Requirements, Not Rewards
We all know that sleep is good for us, but it turns out that play is super good for us, too! Both are vital for healthy brain functioning – though, obviously, sleep is most important in that category. But we need both rest and play in order to live vibrant, fulfilled, and joyful lives. And […]
Saying “Yes, And” to Life
I’m back from break and kicking off season three with some encouragement to embrace ambiguity and accept what life is throwing as us (even amidst the shit show) by saying “yes, and” to what’s on offer. We usually don’t like to look at it this way, but the truth is that we’re all just making […]
In Praise of Gentle Consistency
I don’t know about y’all, but I am exhausted with the everything-ness of the world right now. It’s all just so much! Nevertheless, we persist. And I hope we are all persisting in whatever way we are able with a degree of gentleness. We all know that consistency is key to getting where we want […]
Honoring Anniversaries of Sobriety and Other Milestones
Yesterday marked my 14th anniversary of getting sober – which is a big deal! And also tends to stir up a lot of weird emotions: ambiguous grief, an intense combination of gratitude and longing, lots of hope and heaviness at the same time… So this episode is very much about my recovery specifically, but also […]
Sharing Our Tenderness and Navigating Vulnerability Hangovers
Sharing vulnerability is the foundation of meaningful relationships and wholehearted living. It’s also really fucking hard – by definition. To be vulnerable means to share our tenderness and open ourselves up to the possibility of getting hurt. But it’s super worth it, and it’s the only way to cultivate the kind of connection that most […]
Giving Yourself Permission
Adulting is fucking hard, y’all. It’s exhausting. It’s annoying. It’s expensive. And the only way to navigate it and stay sane (and hygenic) is by instituting rules to keep ourselves in check. We all have our own internalized set of policies and procedures we follow in order to stay afloat in our lives. We have […]
The Podcast Is Aliiiive!
Holy shit, y’all. I did it. We did it. It’s done did! Settling Is Bullshit is officially a podcast – alive and well, available anywhere you listen to podcasts. And I am so freaking stoked that I woke up at 3:00 am, buzzing with enthusiasm. Not stress, not anxiety, just pure enthusiastic joy that I […]
Doing Things Imperfectly – In Public
What does it mean to have a perfect house? Perfect body? Perfect job? What does perfection feel like? Does it have a color, or a taste? Is it even real? When I stop to think about it, I don’t really know the answer to any of that. In my four decades on earth, I don’t […]
What If *Everything* Counted?
Fitbits, Apple watches, apps upon apps upon apps… if you’re doing a thing and want to track it, the technology is there. Want to know how you’re sleeping? There’s an app for that. Want to keep an eye on water intake, or mood, or your cycle, or stress levels, or even your bowel movements – […]
Permission to Change Your Mind
Decisiveness can be a useful character trait in a lot of situations. We’re each faced with hundreds of decisions on a daily basis, so being able to quickly sift through options and take action saves us a lot of time and energy. However, decisiveness can also hold us back from self care, gentleness, and listening […]
What My Recovery Means to Me
Today marks 13 years since I smoked the last of my weed (July 1st, 2010) and decided to try spending 90 days entirely sober (July 2nd, 2010). As it turned out, being completely substance-free suited me really, really well – eventually. When I got sober, I didn’t really think I had a problem with alcohol. […]
Whatever It Is, Just Pick It Back Up
You know the feeling – suddenly you look up and it’s been weeks or months since you did the thing that you used to do every day. And you feel both panicked and exhausted, and the prospect of getting back to it feels like doing a pull up with arms made of noodles. Or, maybe […]
Finding the Sweet Spot between Grit and Grace
I don’t want to write today, but I’m doing it anyway. Yay, I’m being gritty! And that is awesome, right? Maybe. According to Angela Duckworth (who wrote the book on Grit), “grit is passion and perseverance for long-term goals.” And every piece of writing advice ever will tell you that writing daily is the way […]
WTF Is Settling is Bullsh*t?
Hello, dear reader. Welcome to Settling Is Bullshit – a blog of sweary life advice for humans trying to get better at adulting. Read on to learn more about what we’re doing here.
Whatever It Is, Just F**king Start
I’ve never actually read Goethe, but he’s got this lovely quote that you may have seen running around the internet: “Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.” It’s a great sentiment. And one that I’ve reframed a bit in the title […]